It's been a crazy, interesting, emotional, and wild week the last 7 days. I guess we all have bad weeks...but really really bad weeks? Like "where is God" weeks? Like "should I just give up" weeks? I'm very limited as to what I can share on my blog, but its just one of those times where you just wonder what the heck is going on? Things are incredible one moment, then they're awful. Then they're incredible again, then they're super awful. What's up with that? I'm just such a "black or white" person. I want things black or white, straight and to the point, no fiddling around. And I just don't think God is like that. But it makes me wonder...if he made me, he obviously made that way of thinking, so what the crap is it for? I'm not ready to learn patience; I asked for that one time, and regretted it to its fullest...lol
I'm actually not as stressed as I would normally be at a time like this, but its just the fact of wondering what's really going on. I know God is an "on time" God, but I guess its just the waiting that's hard.
Got a question for anyone who will reply. You always hear how you need to "get out of the driver's seat and let God drive." In other words, quit trying to do stuff and let God work it. But where do you draw the line? When I try to do stuff and it doesn't work, it just makes me want to try harder...until it works. Am I supposed to just try and if it fails, then just give up and wait till God shows up? Where's that point of transition? I don't want to get in his way, but at the same time, I don't know where "doing my part" ends? I understand the whole "pray and give it over to God" thing, but I'm talking about pure physical here. A lot of things that are explained spiritually are just pure crazy when you apply it to the physical. Like giving something to God...like if it were physically in my hand and he were physically next to me in person, all I'd have to do is just hand it to him, but its just not like that. So I'm talking plain out physical, kindergarten-explained english here : ) Please feel free to comment.
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First off, I can totally relate (not understand b/c I'm not where you are right now)the roller coaster (things are good, then not, then ok, then not). You're right in that the spiritual doesn't add up in the physical - that's faith. We wouldn't need it if we could physically "hand it over" to God. I wish I could physically hand 1 thing in particular to Him, but I feel that I would be missing out on a tremendous transformation that He's doing in me. Sure that 1 thing thats SO huge to me isn't huge to Him @ all, but He's using for His glory...The thing that I have to remind myself is that 1. yep, God made me & knows my emotions better than I do, 2. He's not gone anywhere, He knows whats going on, He hurts b/c we hurt, He will bless our response (if its the right one). Waiting is the hardest thing I've ever done & I do it every day, every month & even some years...when do you stop trying? I'm not sure, however, part of "doing our part" is trusting that He will do His part. We walk out our faith, we "give it" to Him, we pray, praise, worship even through it ALL & He will be faithful to do His part...but then again, that usually requires more waiting. Ugh, our fave thing to do! Sorry my comment is so long. Please know I'm not making light of whatever it is that you're facing, but these are some (there's several more)things that I've learned in my waiting...I just hope it makes sense, lol.
ReplyDeleteForgot to mention that I'm sorry for whatever you are facing thats making you feel blah. Hang in there... :)
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