Motley Crue Concert Experience

How do you know that you're behind and stale? You go to something that's comparable to what you do and you watch. Yesterday, Lauren got free tickets through her work for the Motley Crue concert at the BI-LO Center last night. Motley Crue makes no bones about it - they're a satanic worship group. And those of you reading this know we are worship leaders also; we're just on the other side. So I quickly jumped at the chance of going. Once there, I was really uncomfortable. Especially during their hit song, Shout at the Devil. Let me say, Motley Crue didn't come on till 9pm so for the 3 hours prior, the bands were decent. But what started out to be a heavy metal concert turned into a satanic worship environment in less than 3 seconds. From the pentagrams to the cross of Jesus turned upside down to the red and fire everywhere to the chants of the band and audience, this was a full fledge worship service. Sound was probably 140db and they probably spent between 3-5 million on their light show alone. They started the show out with a very vulgar and difiant slam on heaven. And the lead singer even showed off his latest sex toy as he had incorporated it into his attire for the night.

With all of this going on, I couldn't help but to think about the state of the church. In churches all across the nation, worship leaders are refused the chance to tap into their creativity because the light can't strobe for more than 15 seconds or the sound can't be over 80db or "you just can't wear that." I witnessed probably 15,000 people participate in this satanic worship service and no one cared that the lead singer had a sex toy tied around his waist. The sad part is you could feel the demonic activity increase with the start of every song because of the unity. The church of America is hung on that issue right there - unity. If we could ever get unity in the house of God, satanic worship would come to a standstill. Instead, we as a church forfeit our power for the temperature - or the loudness of - or even what the pastor wears, leaving the church useless and irrelevant.

You want to see true revival? I'm not talking about the ones churches do to pad their accounts so they can pay the bills. I'm talking about those encounters with God that leave us empowered to change the world around us. If this is you, I challenge you to focus your life and line it up with God. Don't be worried about this or that. Focus on the people that need your help, and one by one, we can change this world.

HECK YEAH!!! Free Concert...for me anyway!!!

So there's perks to my job : ) I got free tickets to a Motley Crue concert for tomorrow night. Heck yeah!! Never been a fan, but hey, they're free tickets. So we gonna go jam!! Well, Shawn will be a little late, but hopefully Chris and Nikki are gonna make it. I did say though, that if they start doing Satanic crap, I'm out the door...lol...

But I've really been wanting to go to a concert here lately, just to go do something different and act like a retard...yellin and screamin!! Pressure release I guess : ) I really wanna go see Rihanna in concert but I don't know if she does the whole half naked thing...just not into that...and I don't want my husband into that either...lol, but I love her music for some reason. That stinks about her and Chris Brown. I hope she sues the fool outta him...I wouldn't let no crazy person lay a hand on me.

All grown up

My baby's growing up : ( ...Her Nana got her a toddler bed at Christmas time and we set it up. That was an easy transition. However, the hardest transition of all was getting mommy to take down the baby bed. So its been sitting right there next to the toddler bed all this time. Yeah...well, Saturday I finally took it down...boohoo... BUT, its in the basement...it will be used again...one day. So now Caitlyn has her a big girl room : (

On the brighter side of things...lol...I joined the gym...yay!! I go during my lunch breaks everyday. The cool thing is, when I signed up, they coerced me into joining by giving me 3 months tanning for free (okay, so they didn't have to work too hard at convincing me). The rate is already really good, so adding free tanning was like, heck yeah, I'll join! So maybe I'll be all sexy and tan this summer...hahahaha... But for real, I better be some kinda hott for our cruise in May. I can't wait for that!! Always wanted to swim in that clear Bahamas water. I also can't believe this will be 5 years of marraige for us...wow, time flies when your having fun : )

Yay for weekends

I'm really glad its Friday. It's been a crazy busy week at work. But now its the weekend, a busy one at that...haha... RPM practice at our house tomorrow and game night with food, drinks and a bonfire...looking forward to that. I love bonfires! However I can't have my famous smores...I'm off sugar at this time. Hey!...but its paying off, I'm averaging 2.5 lbs lost every week for the last almost 3 weeks. Haven't really changed my diet except quit eating sugar, and only drinking diet drinks. I ain't complaining. Anyhow, hopefully we won't catch anything important on fire...like CHRIS. Bout did that the other night...oops...well it was his fault.

So its tax season again...woohoo... I wasn't really expecting anything grand from our return cause I've been told you pretty much get gipped when in the ministry when it comes to taxes. But I'm pretty sure that we got hooked up somehow, and we got 3x what we got on last years return, and not much has changed from 2007 to 2008. So I'm ready to pay off some bills, and reserve our anniversary cruise. Yay!

Roller Coaster Up

Well the roller coaster is on its way back up. Things are going back up hill, really good actually. I hate to say that in the case that the next steep mountain ride is right around the corner. And for those of you who haven't been following this blog or have no idea whats going on in our life, this is totally confusing you, I'm sure...but I'm gonna keep talking cause that's just what I'm so good at : )

To be totally honest, I've personally been in a very rocky position in the last couple of months. Re-evaluating where I stand when it comes to everything, and I mean everything. The situations and problems I've faced in the last several months don't compare to anything I've ever experienced my whole entire life. And some would say its because we made a wrong move somewhere along the way, but its so far beyond that. I honestly believe if we would not have made certain critical steps in these last few months, we'd not be in a good place right now. I've always said you just never know whats really going on inside of someone. As good as they put on a show and a smile for everyone, you just don't even know what's going on on the inside. For most people, it'd shock the crackers out of your mouth, especially when looking at people in leadership over you : )

For me personally, I think it's easy for some people to stand back up when their heart has been destroyed, but for some, its just not as easy to get back up and keep walking forward. I would have liked to have claimed myself as one who was strong and able to withstand whatever was thrown at me, but I am just not that person. I have had to truly learn how to rely and really trust God these last few months of my life. I don't know if I could've taken another step without Him. And a lot of people say that phrase so freely, but I honestly really don't know if I could've taken another step. And although God felt quite distant, I know He was there, and still is. I think its time to start letting go of some things that have really grabbed onto me. A lot of my hurt seems to be getting worse, its hard to really trust people these days, you kinda feel like somethings been ripped out of you. I think a lot of people don't realize exactly the extent of hurt that Shawn and I have experienced just because a lot of people don't look at both sides. That's half of what hurts so much. Pouring your life out to people for so long, and then to turn around and it feel like it was for nothing...its hurts. But you reap what you sow. We were in those shoes for so long, and now we've chose not to be. And now I know what it feels like to be that person on the other side that no one believed. But everyone will be in that situation one day before long. Shawn's so much better at this than me. He's one of those that can stand back up and keep walking. And I'm just hanging on for dear life by his coat jacket, until I can put my feet to the ground and get back up.

At this point, I think I'm just jabbering and probably not making any sense to anyone, but this blog is just a way for me to really get some things out. We've also been put in a place at this time where I think God is going to begin the healing process. He's placed us in a group of people who I pray are going to surround us and just be Jesus, just LOVE us. I'm beginning to think that LOVE is the healing. Who would've thought?

I feel blah...

It's been a crazy, interesting, emotional, and wild week the last 7 days. I guess we all have bad weeks...but really really bad weeks? Like "where is God" weeks? Like "should I just give up" weeks? I'm very limited as to what I can share on my blog, but its just one of those times where you just wonder what the heck is going on? Things are incredible one moment, then they're awful. Then they're incredible again, then they're super awful. What's up with that? I'm just such a "black or white" person. I want things black or white, straight and to the point, no fiddling around. And I just don't think God is like that. But it makes me wonder...if he made me, he obviously made that way of thinking, so what the crap is it for? I'm not ready to learn patience; I asked for that one time, and regretted it to its fullest...lol

I'm actually not as stressed as I would normally be at a time like this, but its just the fact of wondering what's really going on. I know God is an "on time" God, but I guess its just the waiting that's hard.

Got a question for anyone who will reply. You always hear how you need to "get out of the driver's seat and let God drive." In other words, quit trying to do stuff and let God work it. But where do you draw the line? When I try to do stuff and it doesn't work, it just makes me want to try harder...until it works. Am I supposed to just try and if it fails, then just give up and wait till God shows up? Where's that point of transition? I don't want to get in his way, but at the same time, I don't know where "doing my part" ends? I understand the whole "pray and give it over to God" thing, but I'm talking about pure physical here. A lot of things that are explained spiritually are just pure crazy when you apply it to the physical. Like giving something to God...like if it were physically in my hand and he were physically next to me in person, all I'd have to do is just hand it to him, but its just not like that. So I'm talking plain out physical, kindergarten-explained english here : ) Please feel free to comment.

The Cause

We have finally found out what it is that Shawn has that's been causing him so much trouble with his eyes. Its called Recurrent Corneal Erosion. He's been in a lot of pain lately and we've taken several trips to the doctor, done this, that, and the other; and they've finally diagnosed him with this erosion thing. This explains why his eyes have always watered a lot, however wikipedia explains why he still has this erosion which is caused by dry eyes.

Wikipedia says, "With the eye generally profusely watering, the type of tears being produced have little adhesive property. Water or saline eye drops tend therefore to be ineffective. Rather a 'better quality' of tear is required with higher 'wetting ability' (ie greater amount of glycoproteins) and so artificial tears (eg viscotears) are applied frequently.Whilst individual episodes may settle within a few hours or days, additional episodes (as the name suggests) will recur at intervals."

Wikipedia offers suggestions that are used and affective for this condition, some of which we are currently trying. But there are two that I thought rather funny. They are as follows:

• maintaining general hydration levels with adequate fluid intake and reducing evening alcohol consumption (so preventing "Drinker's Eye").^[2]
• not sleeping-in late as the corneal tends to dry out the longer the eyelids are closed.

I tell ya...we gonna have to watch these two...lol... But to those of you concerned, I just wanted to give you some updated information. So now we know the cause, its just a matter of taking the steps to healing and preventing it in the future.

Circus

Caitlyn stayed with her MeMe and Papa last weekend while we took Jordan with us to Savannah. So she had her first real circus experience. They went to the Barnum(sp?) and Bailey circus that's traveling through. This weekend, the circus is in Greenville. We're not going but some of the events and actors will be at my work during office hours. I think its because one of our merchandiser's is sponsoring the whole circus in Greenville or something like that. So Shawn's going to bring Caitlyn up cause dad said she went nutts when they were at the circus, with all the animals and stuff. I can't wait to get some of the pictures from it.

She's getting all grown up on me. This morning, she had on some sweat pants with her cute tennis shoes and a cute little shirt. Her hair was all messy, but in a pretty way. She turned around as if to pose as she looked at me. At that moment, I kinda had a flash forward, of what she's gonna look like when she gets older. I really need to put my seat belt on. I'm praying I can be a good mom that she needs. In this day and age, so many kids turn from their parents so quick, and I just pray I can be firm with her but not so much to where she grows to hate me. I feel like I had a great example with my mom, so hopefully I can take on some of her mommy-ness.

Let It Rain

We had fun this weekend. We went to Savannah again. This time we took our drummer and bassist. I've not laughed so hard in my life. They put us all in the same hotel room suite which was weird at first, but I don't know how late we stayed up laughing our heads off Friday and Saturday nights. Makes me wanna stay in suites every time we travel : ) There were some really funny experiences in the hotel that I can only briefly describe, like me and Jordan going to the coke machine running into some guys that I don't think were up to any good, bulldogs in the hallway, unidentified splats on the wall, peppermint panties, crusties...Nikki, you missed it, you gotta go next time : P

While I'm on traveling, we've been looking for a sound system, mainly speakers. We've already been pretty much given a sound board, mics, etc, etc... But Shawn's been on the web looking everywhere for some good deals on some speaker systems. Well he's talked to several people about what we do and why we need the speakers. And today he got a phone call from this guy in Atlanta who has a full speaker system, two 12" main speakers, full speaker stands, 2 amps, and some other stuff I think. Guy told him that he feels like he needs to just give it to us, which must be God, because the guy and his family is going through a really tough time right now which is why he was originally trying to sell his system, and is how Shawn originally ran across him. We don't know this guy from jack. So at first Shawn was like, dude you need the money, we can't just not give you anything, but the guy persisted that he felt the need to just give it, so we were like, okey dokey, thank you Jesus!

So we're rounding down on the needs of a complete sound system. God's good : )